Over the past two days, I've been debating on whether or not to respond to you and your comments at all. In reality, it doesn't matter what you think about my situation or the choices my family makes, but I just want you to know that I feel it was a pretty cowardly thing to do. At least own up to your comments if you are going to make them.
My husband and I are making choices that we feel are best for our family. It doesn't mean that I don't struggle with things that happen in my life or wish that things might be a little different. The fact is that I was willing to put them out there and acknowledge that's how I felt. My blog has always been a place that I could find support when we were going through the toughest time of our lives. I will not let you ruin that for me.
I'm assuming that I don't know you. And, if I do, I'm sorry that you didn't feel our relationship was strong enough that you could talk to me personally about how you felt after reading my posts.
Since I can't have this conversation with you, I guess this blog post will have to suffice. So, here are a few of your comments and my responses.
"She doesn't love your little boy like you do! That should not surprise you!"
Nope, this doesn't surprise me at all. I don't expect her to love him like I do. It doesn't mean that she shouldn't (or doesn't) care about him enough to want to celebrate his birthday or attend his party. There were plenty of people there who don't love him like my husband and I do. (and, plenty that see him A LOT less than her)
"Remember you are his mom - she is the baby sitter...she it the one you have chosen to raise your child (she spends way more waking hours with him that you do during the week)
Yes, you are right - she spends more hours with him than I do. However, I have to disagree that I have chosen her to "raise" my child. Yes, she has a huge role in his child-rearing, but ultimately, my husband and I will be making choices for him that have a lasting impression. I expect her to work with us in handling tough situations if/when they arise and follow our lead in raising him.
"Odd you trust her enough with your son all day, but not enough to speak truth to her!"
I'm not sure what trust has to do with the other things I referred to in my post. As I mentioned, the feelings I was having are NOT deal breakers. My sitter takes very good care of my son when I cannot be there, and I appreciate her more than you know.
"You are giving up so much by working. Re-read your post, it is all about you. You have a little one now who will never be 1 again or two again. It is so important to have his mom there with him. You have no idea what you are missing and you won't until it is too late! Wow - so you would rather stay in your house than raise your little boy on your own with your values. Don't kid yourself - two or three hours a day with your child does not equate to raising him. Who ever is spending the majority of his waking hours ( because the time you spend at home with him while he is sleeping really does not count ) is raising him and I know for a fact whoever that is does not love him near as much as you. I would live in a condo before I gave up those precious years with my baby!!!"
Thanks. You sure know how to make someone feel good about themselves when they are already feeling like they don't get enough time with their child. Maybe you didn't realize that we spent 5 long years trying to have our little boy. We love him more than anything on this earth. Yes, the post is about me. It's my blog and my feelings. Since I can't tell you what Drake is feeling (which by the way, I'm sure he is just fine), it's the only way I can communicate on the blog. By working, I am able to provide more for him than I could if I wasn't working. Besides, if I had a burning desire to stay home with him all day long, you better believe that I would make it happen, but I don't. (By the way, I love how you mention a condo in your post. Apparently, condos in your area are fairly inexpensive because they cost about the same as my house here!)