Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Am I? or Aren't I?

I never wanted to get to this point (I know, who does?!) where you are constantly wondering if you are going to be pregnant this month. This is why when we first started "trying" I didn't track my cycles or honestly even pay attention. For some reason I thought we would have trouble getting pregnant - probably because of Jason's history of cancer, certainly not because anyone in our families seemed to have trouble getting pregnant (although that isn't necessarily the case I found out).

When we finally decided to try to get some questions answered, it was 3.5 years later...nothing was coming back as the problem. During our Clomid cycles, I thought for sure we were going to get pregnant, but always seemed to expect my period (weird, I know). Then came the first IUI...I don't really remember what I was feeling during the 2ww. The one thing I do remember is that on the morning of my blood test while I was in the waiting room, I just had a feeling it was going to be negative. Of course, that didn't take getting the call from the doctor's office any easier. Then, our second IUI...I knew from the day we had our first insemination that it was going to be a positive pregnancy test. I just had a feeling.

Now, we are in the middle of the 2ww for our third IUI, and I don't have a feeling either way! I guess this can be a good thing, but I keep getting random thoughts going through my mind today. I just wish it was time to take the pregnancy test so I could know!

(By the way, my progesterone check for today was good ... over 20. So, if we are pregnant, it sounds like my body can support it.)



Tonya said...

Jason had cancer? Or is it in his family? And by your title I thought we would find out today!

Alex and Jill said...

The 2ww is so hard. I swear it's one of the hardest mental games...pure torture.

I'm praying you have peace no matter the result. Though I'm also praying the result is a big fat positive!! :)