National Infertility Awareness Week is a movement to raise awareness about the disease of infertility which affects 7.3 million Americans. Visit Resolve for more information.
In recent weeks, I have found that those dealing with infertility have some similarities to those grieving the loss a loved one. I say this because a friend in my bible study lost her husband recently and when we were getting advice on what to say and what not to say, the answers were similar to how to talk to someone dealing with infertility.
First, don't act like the situation doesn't exist (ie: not talking about the person because they have passed on or talking to someone dealing infertility about their journey). Although some people do not like to talk to others IRL about infertility, I am an open book. I would rather someone ask me about it and talk to me rather than act as though it is not something affecting my life. It has become a huge part of who I am at this time in my life and has changed who I will become.
Second, you'll never understand what the person is going through unless you have been there (and even then, situations are different). And, if we've never been in their shoes, we can empathize with them and try to relate to them based on what we have learned over time. I honestly believe that God has given Jason and I this 'bump in the road' for a number of reasons - 1) to learn to rely on Him and trust Him and 2) to educate others around us on the 'world of infertility'. I hope that I have done that in the best way possible and that I will continue to do it even when I have my miracle baby.
I also discovered that the biggest reason people don't know what to say or how to act is because of the lack of openness about it. When is the last time you saw a movie about someone dealing with infertility? I always say that if I had cancer, everyone would be talking about it but since it's infertility no one wants to discuss it. Guess that's because awareness has been raised about the different types of cancers and treatments. Let's start bringing awareness about infertility!
14 comments:
Excellent post. I wholeheartedly agree on all counts.
Great post! Wonderful girl! Happy Infertility week ( weird to say but hey...why not:) I look forward to spreading the word...
Very well put!
i really like your attitude. it "will" change who we become. I agree.
A'men! No one wants to talk about it...you never hear of anyone else who has infertility. That is why I love blogging about my journey and hoping others can find comfort together somehow!
Awesome post! Very well written!!
Great post. I want to tell people about my TTC struggles, but not sure if I could cope with all of the questions and dissapointment from family and friends etc.
Well said! Great post :)
Love this post. Trusting God in the midst of this is a journey in and of itself. But it's a good thing. =)
Great post! I'm becoming more open about infertility, but it is very hard. It amazes me how much people don't understand and just don't get it.
I have learned that the only way for people to understand how painful infertility hurts is to talk about it. After our first m/c, I didn't want to tell anyone. I wanted to hide it away. But when our second m/c was imminent I knew that I would not be able to survive if I didn't talk about it. I refer to my lost babies in conversations, I talk about my infertility, and I don't hide it anymore... and I have found that people actually have begun to respond a little differently, less insensitivity. Yes, I can tell when someone is uncomfortable when I bring it up, but it's my reality and dang it I'm not going to hide it anymore.
(wow, sorry for the long comment... lol) ICLW
Excellent post! I couldn't agree more... I too try to be an open book about IF too, but most people don't seem to want to hear about it (?) but I wish it were more of an issue that could be openly discussed with the facts laid out...
One of the biggest problems I have found is lack of acknowledgement. When friends miscarried twins people didn't say anything to them. It made things so much worse b/c it felt like no one saw their loss and significant. When people feel there is a right and wrong thing to say, they don't say anything. I posted about this early on.
Great post.
Erica
ICLW
Great post! very well said! Thank you so much for all your support & feedback!
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