Anniversary?

You may be asking yourself, "What anniversary is this?" Dating anniversary? Engagement anniversary? Wedding anniversary? ......nope, it was exactly one year ago today that we met our RE for the first time. I'm not sure this is really an anniversary I want to celebrate, and I know I don't want to be thinking about it next year on April 30th! The one thing this does bring to mind is what has happened in the last year:

• 3 IUI's
• 1 miscarriage
• 1 IVF/ICSI cycle
• many trips to Urbana
• 2 nights in Indy
• 11 BFN's
  

What else is more fitting? Today was my start cycle appointment for IVF #2!!! The u/s and b/w looked good this morning...E2 below 20, 8 antral follies on the right and 14 antral follies on the left. And, we've decided to add one more medication to the mix - DHEA. From what I was told today, there is a recent study showing that it helps with follicle stimulation. If you remember, in our first IVF cycle, we only had 4 mature follicles. We are hoping for around 10 this time. So, I'll be picking that up at the grocery store this weekend.

Here we go!...

National Infertility Awareness Week

National Infertility Awareness Week is a movement to raise awareness about the disease of infertility which affects 7.3 million Americans. Visit Resolve for more information.

In recent weeks, I have found that those dealing with infertility have some similarities to those grieving the loss a loved one. I say this because a friend in my bible study lost her husband recently and when we were getting advice on what to say and what not to say, the answers were similar to how to talk to someone dealing with infertility.

First, don't act like the situation doesn't exist (ie: not talking about the person because they have passed on or talking to someone dealing infertility about their journey). Although some people do not like to talk to others IRL about infertility, I am an open book. I would rather someone ask me about it and talk to me rather than act as though it is not something affecting my life. It has become a huge part of who I am at this time in my life and has changed who I will become.

Second, you'll never understand what the person is going through unless you have been there (and even then, situations are different). And, if we've never been in their shoes, we can empathize with them and try to relate to them based on what we have learned over time. I honestly believe that God has given Jason and I this 'bump in the road' for a number of reasons - 1) to learn to rely on Him and trust Him and 2) to educate others around us on the 'world of infertility'. I hope that I have done that in the best way possible and that I will continue to do it even when I have my miracle baby.

I also discovered that the biggest reason people don't know what to say or how to act is because of the lack of openness about it. When is the last time you saw a movie about someone dealing with infertility? I always say that if I had cancer, everyone would be talking about it but since it's infertility no one wants to discuss it. Guess that's because awareness has been raised about the different types of cancers and treatments. Let's start bringing awareness about infertility!

8 things

8 Things.....

Jessie at The Adventures of the McKinney Twins tagged me for this one. Jessie is one of the success stories from my RE's office...thanks for giving me hope!

When you get done reading all these interesting things about me, you can complete it, too!

8 Things I am Looking Forward To:

1. Consistently warm weather.
2. A weekend scrapbooking with friends.
   
3. Getting our pergola completed before opening the pool.
   
4. Watching lots of Cub games! We are going to two games so far!
   
5. Our 2nd IVF cycle...
   
6. Planning our next vacation - Hawaii?
   
7. The end of July and being done with my summer conferences (only to really be working on a big one for January).
   
8. Pool parties throughout the summer with family and friends!
   

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1. Went to work.
   
2. Had lunch with a friend.
   
3. Got the oil changed in the car
4. Attended a picnic with my little "sister"
   
5. Watched Biggest Loser
6. Watched the Cubbies get another win!
   
7. Checked my e-mail
8. Left comments for ICLW
   

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

1. Stay home and still get paid!
   
2. Sing well
   
3. Travel whenever and wherever I wanted without thinking about the cost
   
4. Run ... it was such a good feeling watching Jason participate in a half marathon ... what a great atmosphere, just not sure I could do it!
   
5. Hire a maid! (Me, too, Jessie!)
6. Get a pedicure, manicure, and massage every week!
   
7. Have the right words to encourage others.
8. Be creative and witty!
   

8 Shows I Watch:

1. Two and a Half Men
   
2. Amazing Race
   
3. Biggest Loser
4. Survivor
5. Law & Order SVU
   
6. The Bachelor/Bachelorette
7. Dancing with the Stars
   
8. Chicago Cubs baseball!
   

Welcome ICLWers!

This is my first time participating in the International Comment Leaving Week (ICLW). I thought this would be a great way to "meet" new people so I am looking forward to it.

For those of you who are visiting for the first time...THANKS! I am not a very witty or funny writer, but I hope you will stick around to see what life is like in the Patterson house. You'll see that I blog about pretty much anything - family, friends, activities, tv shows, and, of course, our infertility battle. You can find a timeline of our journey to the right, but I'll give you our info here, too.

As a teenager and young adult it was made very clear to me that having children before marriage would not get me my "big, white wedding" ... and, of course, who doesn't want their big wedding? So, naturally, I was on the bcp until we decided we were ready to start trying. I met my husband, Jason, in October of 2000, and we got married in May of 2003.

On our one year wedding anniversary, we decided we were ready to add to our family. I remember conversations about people who tried to have kids and when they quit trying they would get pregnant supposedly because "they just quit worrying about it" (at least that's what those people believed). I certainly didn't want to be categorized into that group, so I wasn't going to obsess over trying...and, I didn't. We were young, Jason was finishing his degree, we were traveling and enjoying life. After about two years, I began wondering what was going on, maybe we weren't really trying all that hard so I started tracking my cycles. (I didn't even know how long my cycles were before this!) They seemed to be okay, but a little irregular - ranged between 28 & 35 days.

After 29 months of BFNs (October 2007), I talked to my doctor about checking things out to see if there was something preventing us from getting pregnant. I had a blood test that day, and Jason had his semen analysis the next day. Lucky for us, everything came back normal. (FYI - my husband is a cancer survivor - so glad to know that the treatments didn't cause any problems) Their first recommendation was Clomid - the lowest dose (50mg). After 5 months of clomid with timed intercourse, an hsg (all clear), and 5 BFNs, we were referred on to our wonderful reproductive endocrinologist (RE)!

We met with Dr. J in April 2008 and instantly liked him. He was very knowledgable and had a genuine interest in helping us. Of course, he thought we would get pregnant right away. After 3 IUIs and 1 miscarriage, we moved on to IVF. Our first IVF was in January and resulted in a BFN, so we are on to round 2! We'll be starting stims at the beginning of May and are hoping and praying for our BFP!

Birthday Celebration

I know...3 posts in one day...lots to catch up on! After we left Rockford on Friday night, we had to head to my parent's house for our regular birthday celebration. It is so hard to get together for each person's individual birthday that we now group them. So, in the spring we celebrate January, February, March and April birthdays.

my SIL Kelly holding Reid

Aunt Amber & Nicole

Aunt Amber & MitchellMichelle with Reid
Reid - 7 weeks old
We had awesome homemade pizza by my mom and an angel food cake with a frosting that my grandma used to make. Yes, my mom is using an electric knife to cut it! :-) It actually wasn't hard, but the frosting which was supposed to be a "sticky" frosting hardened so we weren't sure how it would cut with a regular knife. This actually worked out quite well!

The birthday people -- me, Nicole (14), dad, Michelle, Reid

Hudson turns One!

Jason and I headed north to Rockford on Friday night to spend a little time with one of my college roommates, Janell, and her family. Her son had his 1st birthday on Thursday, and although we weren't able to stay for the party, we wanted to come visit for a while.

He is so photogenic!! What a sweetie!

And, he can even "High-five" at one year!

Happy Birthday, Hudson!!

Sorry we weren't able to stay for your party!

Caden and his Easter visit

We weren't able to see Caden on Easter this year, so Jason and I stopped over on Thursday night for a visit. He is really getting quite the personality! I can't believe he will be 2 years old this summer.

Guess he knew this package was for him! He pulled it right off the table!

He looks pretty excited about swim trunks, huh?!
And, he even knew what to do with them? (We really didn't pose him this way!)

Uncle Jason showing him his card - it made trucks sounds, so much fun!

Uncle Jason and Caden

Still here...

It's been a little busy at the Patterson house, but nothing too exciting. Guess I wanted to do an update today to let you all know that I am still here! I took some days off work at the end of last week and Monday so that was nice even though the weather didn't cooperate. On Friday, I met a friend in Peoria for pedicures, lunch, and shopping. It was a nice time as usual and these feet needed some attention! We had dinner with friends on Saturday night and then Sunday we met my mom & dad, sister, brother-in-law, & nephew, and brother-in-laws parents for a nice lunch after church. My nephew is doing well...almost 7 weeks old. He had to have surgery last week. I am pretty sure the condition was called pyloric stenosis. He is doing much better now, so that is good. My boss had a baby girl last Thursday, so I took dinner to her yesterday and got to meet Lauren. She is a cutie...bigger than my nephew, I think! :-) Then, I went to a visitation last night for a friend who lost her husband. Talk about both ends of the emotional spectrum in one day - celebrating a birth and mouring a death with a friend. We have small group tonight and then we head north this weekend to celebrate my college friend's son's 1st birthday and birthdays with the family.

In IVF news...I'm back on the bcp and have my start cycle appointment on the 30th. Two more weeks... I'm still checking in on you ladies and where you're at in the cycles and, of course, checking in on the three - Jill, Cady, and Erin - of you that got your BFPs! Congrats ladies!

Sisterhood Award & Honest Scrap

A very sweet thank you to Ashley for nominating me for the Sisterhood Award! Please visit her blog and give her some love. She is starting her first (and hopefully only!) IVF cycle!

Rules of The Sisterhood Award:
1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate 10 blogs with great attitude and/or gratitude.
3. Be sure to link to your nominees in your post.
4. Let your nominees know they have received the award by leaving them a comment on their blog.
5. Be sure to link this post to the person who nominated you for the award

Thank you all for being an awesome, amazing support to Jason and I as well go through life and the ups and downs of infertility.

1. Elaine
2. Tammy (although I know she has already been nominated!)
3. Jamie
4. Cady
5. Jackie
6. Tonya
7. Tiffany
8. Kristin
9. Janell
10. Angry Infertile

Please visit their blogs and give them some love!!!

And, quite some time ago, I was nominated for this award:
Thank you so much to the Angry Infertile! I love your blog, and sorry I am so late in posting!

1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap." Well, there's no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.
3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

Here are my 10 honest things:

1. I love reality shows (Biggest Loser, The Bachelor, American Idol, Amazing Race, Big Brother)!
2. I also am a HUGE Chicago Cubs fan - have been since birth!
3. Ice cream is my favorite food. I could seriously eat it every day and not get tired of it.
4. I can't stand cigarette smoke and was so happy when Illinois went smoke free!
5. Yes, I am a Harley girl. My husband has a Harley V-rod that we enjoy riding (especially in the Rocky Mountains in Colorado with friends!).
6. I don't like going to the movie theater. I'd rather sit at home on my couch to watch a movie.
7. I am a huge planner. I have a smart phone so my calendar is always with me.
8. There are two things (okay, probably more) that drive me crazy - using double negatives in sentences and things misspelled in professional marketing pieces.
9. I am very detail oriented so I like things organized, and I love to edit printed pieces (see #8).
10. I like to exercise, but need someone to push me to do it.

If you are listed above or want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

We have a plan!!

After having a "stubborn" period as my nurse called it, she has finally arrived! I just talked to Dr. J's office and we have our "schedule" for IVF #2. We're doing a Micro Lupron Protocol...so it will be different from last time - less suppression and more stimulation! Hopefully things will go great, and we'll get our baby this time!

Tears and Hope

This is a great video posted by one of my blogger friends, Ashley. Please visit this website www.tearsandhope.com to view.

Cathy's Shower

On Saturday, Jason's sister, Karen and I headed to Chicago for their cousin's wedding shower. Cathy is getting married in June to her fiance, Corey, in Missouri. We don't see them very often so it was nice to celebrate with her and hopefully we'll be able to make the wedding this summer!

This was a sheet set that Cathy's mom, aunts, and cousins embroidered for her. Many of us were rookies! :-) I had never embroidered before and have to say that it probably isn't something I'll continue. Don't mind the stickers on her face. This was from a game that her aunt came up with. You probably know that at most wedding showers there is a game about how well you know your future husband. The extra part to this was that if she got a question correct, they put a sticker on her face (?), but if she got it wrong, she had to chew a piece of gum without spitting out the others.

Aunt Leta and Aunt Pam (Cathy's mom)

Linda, Cathy (cousins), me, and Karen

Karen, Cathy, me

Happy Birthday, Dad!!!