We're moving ahead...

On the IVF front, I had an appointment last week that included bloodwork (E2 =22) and ultrasound (10 on the left and 11 on the right) and my annual (yes, fun, I know!). Everything looked good, so we are continuing towards the first ivf. I started the lupron on Monday night. Not too bad, I had read a lot about headaches while on lupron so I was kind of concerned since I tend to get headaches anyway. I just had one on Wednesday night, but took some Tylenol and everything seemed fine thank goodness. The last bcp is tomorrow then I start the Bra.velle/Men.opur on Friday. I'm really excited to see how this all works out...praying for a positive and for all my fellow bloggers who want their positive, too!

New Layout!!!

So, what do you think??? Thanks to my friend, Melissa, for helping me make the changes to my blog! I have been wanting to go to a three column format for a while so there wasn't so much on one side, and I really like this one! Melissa also created my header and signature...so a big THANK YOU!!!

Fireproof

Edited: I just found this song/video. The song is in this movie and I thought it related to so many things in life... the infertility journey for us and so many others, in particular. Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWI-iZsIKIk

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I know some of you know exactly what I am referring to here, but for those of you who don't....Fireproof is a movie.
My church played this movie tonight for free!! The place was packed and the movie was awesome. So that I don't give the information away, I'll just say that it is about a married couple (Kirk Cameron is the husband.) who are "fireproofing their marriage."

It comes out this Tuesday, January 27th. I believe you'll be able to get it at Wal.mart or a local Christian bookstore.

While you are buying this one - check out Facing the Giants, too! That is another great movie by the same company!

$3,022.66

You might be wondering what cost us this amount of money...but, can I just say that I am SO thankful for insurance!! This is the amount that our insurance saved us for the medicine for our first IVF! We still paid out $133.89, and I'm sure there is more to come.

I tried to take a picture of what over $3,000 worth of medicines looks like last night, but my camera battery was dead. This doesn't even include the birth control pill, baby aspirin, pre-natal vitamins (yes, I know, weird to be on this and the pill!), or the progesterone (I had a ton left over from the last IUI).

To Freeze or Not to Freeze??

That is the question of the day. For those who don't know, during IVF you have the option to freeze embryos for future attempts at babies. Insurance doesn't cover the freezing, storing, or thawing so it's about $600 a year (or so - I don't have the exact figure). But, this is something that has to be decided before the consent forms get signed and turned in to our RE's office next week.

In the beginning I wasn't too sure how I felt about it, but now I think it's a good idea for a couple reasons. First, insurance will cover an unlimited number of FET's (Frozen Embryo Transfers). Second, this means that they will attempt to fertilize all of the retrieved eggs (part with ICSI, part on their own). Our doctor has strongly recommended that we consider freezing.

I also assume that just because we decide not to freeze this time (if that's what we decide), we could freeze in the future. The only thing is that insurance will not cover the transfer of embryos frozen from your last covered fresh cycle - does that make sense? For example, we get pregnant and have a baby with our final fresh cycle, they wouldn't cover any frozen embryo transfers that came from that retrieval.

The big concern about freezing is that we would have frozen embryos left over and not know what to do with them. You are given options to donate them to another couple or for research, but I'm not sure we agree on that. If we don't agree to freeze this cycle, that means the doctor will only fertilize the three eggs which makes the chances go down.

So, what I am wondering is....what do you all think??

Also wanted to say THANKS for all the comments lately!! It's been great seeing who is watching the blog. I know there are a lot more of you out there, so don't be shy and leave us a comment! :-)

3-day weekend!

On Friday night, I picked up my little sister right after work for a sleepover! We went to dinner with some friends at Monical's and then went to a friends house. She had a great time meeting a new friend! Saturday morning, we had breakfast casserole and hung out until I dropped her off. I went to a baby shower for a girl in my Thursday morning bible study then came home and lounged the rest of the night. After church on Sunday, we had friends over for dinner. We watched part of the football game and then played Guitar Hero World Tour. I've been off work today for MLK day!! I spent my day hanging with the quads and then visiting a high school friend who just had her little boy a week and a half ago. I'll be watching The Bachelor tonight ... who will go home??? Then, it's back to work tomorrow.

Delurking

I stole this post from my blogger and real life friend, Tonya, because I know there are a lot of you out there reading who don't comment.

"There is always a week in January where you are asked to come out of the wood work and comment on the blogs you read so that people know there are people out there reading! Well apparently, it is this week (or was last week) so, party people leave me some comment love and let me know that you have read this post if nothing else. Say "Hi." I promise I won't bite. You don't even have to have a blog to comment just hit anonymous, but if you do please sign your name so I know who you are. Thanks...much love!"

If you're not sure how to comment, at the bottom of each post it tell how many people have commented. Just click there and it will instruct you to leave your message!

Can't wait to see who I hear from! :-)

IVF Plan

Our meeting with Dr. J went really well yesterday. He gave us two options (Laparoscopy or IVF) with the suggestion to do IVF first since insurance covers it. We agreed to move on to IVF w/ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection).

So, here's the plan:

Continue on birth control pills until January 31st
Start Lupron on January 26th
Baseline Ultrasound and Bloodwork on January 28th
Start FSH (Bravelle/Menopur) on February 6th
Estimated ER is February 16th

And, we had to give about six vials of blood and a urine sample today. Woo hoo!!

Forgiveness

This has been on my mind for a few weeks now, and I'll warn you that it's a long one. It all started at my Thursday morning small group when we were discussing a book called The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Newberry. It's based on the Proverbs 4:8 verse and helping you to live a joy filled life. I'll start by saying that I have always felt that my life was a very happy one - no real issues (besides infertility, of course). I graduated from college, got married, have a great job that I enjoy, have done a lot of traveling, and have wonderful family and friends. Anyway, the chapter we were discussing just before Christmas (Chapter 5) is on your emotional strength - resiliency, control, and toughness. Let me just say that I am a person who wears my emotions on my sleeve so this was definitely a chapter that was speaking to me.

There was a situation that took place a while ago, and I thought that I had forgiven the people that hurt me...until our group met and discussed this chapter. Our leader encouraged me to listen to this sermon from a revival that her church held.

The speaker starts off by discussing a conversation between Peter and God in Matthew 18. Peter asks if seven times is enough to forgive someone, and God tells him that he should forgive people up to 70 times 7! Some things I learned about unforgiveness:

1. Unforgiveness produces bitterness in my heart and I need to be thanking God for each person and situation that he puts in my life. The most wicked sin was putting Jesus on the cross and God accomplished good through this so there has to be good being accomplished through our situations, too.

The speaker mentions the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." How often do you remember hearing or saying that as a child?? I think we all heard it, but we have to admit that it really isn't true! People say things that hurt us. There are also things not said that hurt us as well as things done to us and broken promises that all hurt.

2. There are four tests to know if you have forgiven a person:

• Is there anyone you resent? You get a knot in your stomach when you see the person, your fists clench when you hear the person, or it pains you when you hear others talk positively about that person?
  
• Is there anyone you blame for your feelings? You think, "If it weren't for ..."
  
• Is there anyone you don't like because they remind you of the person who hurt you?
  
• Do you have the same openness after the offense as you did before? Can you pray for this person and ask God to work in their life?

3. Ultimately, all bitterness is directed towards God! Bitterness not dealt with God's way will not only destroy us, it will hurt the people we love the most. Have you ever heard the saying "Hurt people, hurt people"? No man is the same after agony - they are either bitter or better. Which are you? Which am I?

There are so many things I have chosen in my life, and a few that I have to say that I haven't chosen. But, I believe that I can thank God for each of these situations, and the best part is when you trust God more after what you have gone through.

How about the saying, "Time heals all wounds"? Time may lessen the intensity of emotion, but until we deal with it correctly it will always be there affecting all of our relationships.

There is a deeper level of bitterness...that's indifference (where you just don't care). Forgiveness is not an emotion, it's a choice of your will. We can't forget, but God has allowed us to live as though we forgot. Refusal to forgive is sin against God.

4. Our choice:

• Acknowledge that your unforgiveness is sin
  
• Allow the past to stand as history (you can't change it)
  
• Change your response to the past
  
• Cancel the penalty and price ("I'll forgive, but I won't forget" is not forgiveness.)
  
• Choose to demonstrate love and forgiveness (not just refuse to hate)

I write this because there are so many people who have trouble forgiving and people who think they have forgiven, but really haven't. I found this to be very interesting and it has really made me think about my situation.

"Bunco"

Every month the neighborhood girls have been getting together to play Bunco. Well, it started out as Bunco, but has turned into some great girl time! Last time we were together, we did the jewelry making which was tons of fun. The next suggestion was to pain pottery...so that was our bunco night last night. I had never done this before so the hardest part was coming up with what I was going to do. Since I'm not much of a knick-knack person and my kitchen cupboards are filled to the brim with dishes, the first thing that came to mind was to make a gift for my nephew who will be born in March. I don't have any pictures of my project (because obviously that would give away the gift!), but here's a few of the other girls:

Sarie getting started on her Birthday Plate...she made a plate that the family each get to use when it's their birthday. I thought this was a great tradition and something the kids would remember forever! I plan on doing one once we have kids.

Tisha painted a flower pot for her mom and Heather painted dessert bowls for each person in the family.

Kelly painting her mini sun dial. She has such tiny pieces to paint...I don't know if I would have had the patience for that one!

Julie painting her red dress for her bathroom.

Becky and Lisa (no picture) painted these plates that will be displayed with their last name on them.

The store glazes and seals the pieces and then we pick them up in a week. I'll be excited to see how they turn out!!

Where do we go from here?

We have finally made/gotten a decision about our next step in the attempt to have a baby! Jason and I weren't sure if our doctor would recommend that we do another IUI or move on to IVF. I spent the last couple weeks talking to a friend who has been through the treatments and to one of the nurses so I was leaning towards moving on to IVF. It was a big step for me to be willing to move on because I felt like this was the end of the road...IVF is the most advanced you can get and insurance only pays for a limited number. Jason wanted to go off of the doctor's recommendation. The nurse did some research for me on insurance coverage, and I was very relieved to find out that they also pay for frozen cycles! This is really good news since we plan to have more than one baby (Lord willing).

I finally got the call from our doctor this week. He felt that moving on to IVF would be a good thing, especially since our insurance would cover it. It definitely increases our chances of success!

So, I have already started back on the pill. We meet with him next Thursday to get our protocol! I'm so excited to have a plan and am praying that this will be the perfect timing.

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday dear Michelle,

Happy Birthday to you!!

Today is my sister's birthday...turning 29...one more year until you reach your thirties like the rest of us! Hope you have a great celebration with the hubby!

Happy New Year!

This past week has flown by!! Jason and I have been off the entire time - yeah! On Monday, Jason's truck was in the shop to get the seals fixed for the four wheel drive and we were shopping for new bedding (which we did find). We hung out on Tuesday then I had my Christmas party with the Mary Kay gals...always a fun time! Our new bed arrived on Wednesday so we moved our queen into the spare bedroom and then I ran some errands. We celebrated New Year's Eve with four neighborhood couples who we'll hopefully be joining a small group with and then some other friends (yes, two parties!). On Thursday, we visited with Jim and Heather and their new little baby, Addison! She is doing great - growing just the way she is supposed to (up to 7lbs now). Sorry I can't post any pictures...

Here's who I spent all day Friday with:

Caden!!!!

I don't think I have watched him at the house since this time last year, and boy how things have changed! He was great, and the good news is that Kahlua was really good with him, too! (Caden has been the house many times in the past year, but just without his mom or a bunch of other people around. - just wanted to clarify)

After he was picked up by his dad, Jason and I got started putting the primer on the walls in our bedroom (goodbye mint green, hello blue!). The painting was finished on Saturday morning and this is what our bedroom looks like now:

I've still got some finishing touches to do and will post a picture when I get them done - pictures/uppercase living on the walls, curtains for the windows (we only have blinds right now), new lamps, and a slip cover for the chair.

Here's our new guest bedroom - I'm sure our guests will love this more than the 25+ year old mattress that was in there before. Again, I have some finishing touches I would like to take care of.

Last night, we went out to dinner with some friends to a nice Italian restaurant then to another couple's to play games. We played Outburst! and Catch Phrase...both very fun games!!

We went to church this morning and then came home to take a nap. Now, we're just relaxing before we have to go back to work tomorrow (boo!!!). I was really getting used to sleeping in ... and Kahlua was even letting us! The good thing is that this year is going to be very busy for me at work so time should go by quickly compared to this past year which has gone kind of slow.

Happy New Year!!!